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A Journey to and through PRIDE

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Once upon a time there was a mommy, a daddy, and a baby.  The baby did not grow up quite the same as other babies.  Friends, extended family, and the doctor noticed.  They asked the parents in many different ways, “Why is your baby not growing up the same as other babies?”  And so began the mommy and daddy’s journey. 

The daddy said, “You people don’t know what you’re talking about.”  He Projected his unpleasant feelings onto others.

The mommy said, “My baby doesn’t want to do any of the things the other babies are doing.”  She Rationalized and came up with a socially acceptable explanation to explain why her baby was not developing.

The daddy said, “Let’s figure out what to do, let’s find some statistics on the problem.”  He Intellectualized and wrapped himself in facts to protect himself emotionally. 

The mommy said nothing.  She Denied any problem.

The daddy said, “I’m working late, then I’m working on the house, then I’m going to the gym.”  He Detached himself from the difficult emotions by concentrating his attention elsewhere. 

The mommy was frustrated so she argued with her husband.  She Displaced her stress and negative emotions about her baby to another person. 

Then one day something magical happened.  The mommy and daddy stopped looking at others (Projection, Displacement), stopped looking at explanations (Rationalization, Intellectualization), and stopped looking at nothing (Denial, Detachment).  They looked into their baby’s eyes, and then they Engaged and Enjoyed.  The mommy and daddy made two important realizations:

  1. Projection, Rationalization, Intellectualization, Denial, Detachment, and Displacement are all okay in moderation, but they must not become too strong or else they block the path to Engagement, Enjoyment, and acceptance. 
  1. Taken together, Projection, Rationalization, Intellectualization, Denial, Detachment, Displacement, Engagement and Enjoyment spell P-R-I-D-E.  And indeed, by the end of their journey they had pride in themselves and pride in their baby. 

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