Step 5: Monitor your own attitude and behavior in this process
You may recall from the previous chapter, the “Dirty-Dozen” reasons why your behavior management efforts may fail. The “Dirty Dozen” are common, yet factually incorrect patterns of thinking that often lead parents to negative emotional states and poor behavior management choices. Regarding the specific target behavior that you are trying to increase (or decrease), which, if any, of these “Dirty-Dozen” errors of thinking are you engaged in (check all that apply) and review the previous chapter for tips on how to avoid these pitfalls:
___“My child SHOULD NOT behave this way”
___“My child’s behavior should change quickly”
___“I take things personally, and not only do I try to control my child’s behavior, but I also try to control my child’s emotions”
___“I use ‘All-or-Nothing’ thinking”
___“I use ‘Emotional Reasoning,’ I second-guess myself, I’m too soft, I feel bad, and then I give-in”
___“I yell too much and my child ‘tunes me out’ or imitates my yelling”
___“I lead with anger”
___“I lose perspective”
___“I cry over spilt milk – I take things too seriously”
___“I am too stressed/tired – I can’t think clearly and use effective behavior management”
___“It’s useless – My authority gets undermined by other adults”
___“It’s useless – There is something ‘wrong with’ my kid”
___Other “____________________________________________________”
___Things are going well and I do not need to change my attitude or behavior in this behavior management process
___One of the “Dirty-Dozen” got me! Here is how I am going to change my (attitude) AND/OR (behavior) in this behavior management process:
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
