I have just advocated patience, reasonable criteria in your “Yes-When deals”, and consistency. But perhaps most importantly, never conclude from your child’s noncompliance that “Yes-When deals” simply “do not work with my child.”
If he chooses to reject the deal that you offer (e.g., “Yes, you can watch T.V., when you put away your toys”), then you withhold the privilege (in this example watching T.V.).
When your child tries to “outsmart” you by not caring and moving on to another privilege (e.g., eating a cookie), you can simply change the deal to, “Yes, you can have a cookie, when you clean up your toys and after you finish your healthy dinner.”