“What is a “Yes-When” Deal? And why are “Yes-When’ Deals ‘The Way of the World’?”
Every child should have a RIGHT to certain things. These RIGHTS (or entitlements) include food, shelter, love, and education. Aside from these RIGHTS, children have PRIVILEGES. Privileges include EVERYTHING that is not a right (e.g., non-nutritious snacks, television, trips, staying up a little past bedtime, etc.). Most adults operate with a good understanding of the RIGHTS/PRIVILEGE distinction across many aspects of life (e.g., we can live in our homes when we pay taxes/rent/mortgages; we can drive a car as long as we obey the traffic laws; we can maintain work relationships and friendships as long as we behave in a manner that is agreeable with the other parties). Most parents usually expect that their children begin to earn PRIVILEGES at some point between the ages of 1 and 21 years. To help your child “learn the way of the world” and learn the differences between rights and privileges, it is often best to begin building compliance as early as possible with “YES-WHEN DEALS” (see “DEMOCRATIC” Parenting above, then continue reading).