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“But my child doesn’t understand ‘Yes-When Deals’!”

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Of course, your child may not fully understand the “Yes-When deal” that you offer.  No problem!  There are plenty of ways to make “Yes-When” deals developmentally appropriate for even very young children or children who do not yet understand your words.  Just use “Show-and-Tell Scaffolding:


For example, “Yes you can have the cookie, when you sit on the chair”:

Use Hand-Over-Hand prompting: leave the cookie on the table and then carry your child over to the chair.

Use Demonstration: sit on the chair and eat a cookie to demonstrate compliance with the rule

Use Gestures: point to the cookie, bring the cookie to chair, then point to the chair

Use Verbal Instructions: for example, say, “Yes you can have the cookie, when you sit on the chair.”


Congratulations you have just taught your child that a cookie is not a RIGHT, but rather a PRIVILEGE that must be earned.